


Services Rendered

by Mithen



Category: DCU - Comicverse
Genre: Identity Porn, Kissing, M/M, Silver Age
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-21
Updated: 2010-03-21
Packaged: 2017-10-08 04:34:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/72739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mithen/pseuds/Mithen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Golden and Silver Age comics certainly featured a lot of superheroes in charity kissing booths, didn't they?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Services Rendered

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [特别服务](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4212573) by [Lynx219](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lynx219/pseuds/Lynx219)



  
Selina Kyle leaned in close, her scarlet lipstick shining.  "Pucker up, handsome," she purred. 

Superman put his mouth to hers, tasting the gloss on her lips, feeling her smile under the kiss.  She nipped lightly at his lips as the kiss ended.  "Thank you, dear," she said with a smirk.

Superman coughed politely.  "Anything for charity, ma'am."  Emerald eyes gleamed with laughter as she stepped away from the booth, and Superman breathed a sigh of relief.

For some reason, the Man of Steel was often in high demand for appearances at charity kissing booths.  Most other heroes just laughed when asked to perform at such functions.  Wonder Woman was especially famous for tossing requesters out the door contemptuously.  But Superman figured that a few hour's work at one of these raised a lot of money for charity and made the superhero community look involved and aware.  Not to mention it showed a certain sense of humor.  So he tried to put in some time at them now and then.

The fact that it felt rather like selling his sexual services was only disturbing from time to time. 

He kissed another blushing young woman lightly on the lips as her friends giggled madly behind her, trying not to be too perfunctory.  It would be rude to show it, but after a while all the kissees started to blur together.  It was a good thing his lips didn't get sore, he thought wryly while meeting yet another pair of lips.  Only ninety minutes to go.

He looked up maybe just a bit wearily at the next person in line...and blinked.  Resplendent in a well-tailored pinstriped suit, dark sunglasses hiding his azure eyes, hands nonchalantly stuffed in his pockets, Bruce Wayne stood there waiting. 

"I...think you're in the wrong line, sir," said Superman.  "Don't you want to be over there?"  He pointed to the next booth over, where a supermodel in a tiny dress was handing out enthusiastic kisses.

Bruce pulled one hand out of his pocket and scrutinized his ticket.  Exaggerated annoyance played across the handsome features.  "Damn it, I must have bought the wrong ticket!"  Then he shrugged and handed the ticket over.  "Well, I don't want to have wasted my money.  Come here."

"What?"  Superman strongly suspected he looked very stupid.

Bruce pointed to his mouth.  "Plant one on me, Big Blue.  I paid for your services, after all."

Superman hoped his reaction to that statement didn't show too obviously on his face.  Or anywhere else.  He leaned forward and brushed his lips politely across the billionaire's, pulling back quickly.

Bruce scowled darkly.  "That was pathetic."  He glanced at his watch.  "You kissed the ten women before me for an estimated average of ten seconds each.  That was hardly two seconds.  You expect me to believe I've gotten my money's worth?"  His voice rose.  "I'm going to lodge a complaint!  Who's the person running this rip-off, anyway?"

Superman shrugged, trying to look nonchalant.  "Fine, whatever," he muttered and kissed the billionaire more thoroughly.

It might have clocked in at rather more than ten seconds.

Bruce flashed a cocky smile and wandered off, leaving Superman blinking.  Three kisses later, the Kryptonian realized Bruce was leaning against a nearby tree, watching the line.  He was scowling, frown lines marring his handsome face.  He watched another six or seven woman get kissed, then disappeared again.

Soon Superman looked up to find himself face-to-face with the playboy once more.  They blinked at each other.  "Damnit, did I get in the wrong line _again?"_ complained Bruce.  "These need to be marked a lot more clearly."  He reached out and slipped the ticket into the waistband of the red briefs.  "Well, kiss me so I won't have wasted both my time _and_ money.  You know my time's very valuable," he pointed out solemnly.

Superman obliged. 

After a while the superhero asked, "Did you get your money's worth that time, Mr. Wayne?"

Bruce pondered, tilting his head and casting his eyes upward in exaggerated contemplation.  Eventually he nodded.  "Not bad."  He lifted the sunglasses briefly and shot Superman a wink, then strolled off again.

Superman continued the interminable kissing, but his mind wasn't on it.  He had no idea what game Bruce was up to.  It wasn't possible that Bruce was just enjoying the chance to kiss him.

Was it?

He was jarred from his ponderings by a distinct _thunk._  He looked up.  Bruce Wayne was standing alone in front of the booth, the line gone.  The thumping noise had been caused by the billionaire dropping a massive roll of tickets onto the booth window. 

Bruce smirked.  "I've bought you for the rest of the day.  Hope you don't mind."

Superman eyed the roll.  "I think there are enough tickets there to last longer than a day."

The playboy looked innocent.  "I suppose you're worth it."  He sat on the counter, swiveled to face Superman, and wrapped his legs around red-clad hips.  "Tell you what, Kal.  I'll gladly give to charity twice what you'd make at one of these every weekend...if you promise never to do it again.  I find it...annoying."

"Watching me sell my kisses?"

The sunglasses kept Superman from being able to see Bruce's eyes as he brandished the roll between them.  "Watching you sell what should be mine."  The billionaire reached up and pulled the booth's shutter down behind him with a clang, leaving them alone in the dark together.

"I should have charged more."

"Shut up and kiss me, Clark."


End file.
